Mudcat Café message #2796375 The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #126022   Message #2796375
Posted By: gnu
25-Dec-09 - 04:29 PM
Thread Name: BS: Bobert's Stoner Christmas Story...
Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Stoner Christmas Story...
Just after Xmas.....

Late 70's. Just after Xmas break at uni. We were dry. The RCMP had put on a big push and there was no weed at all... AT ALL. 64 guys in the residence (kinda like a frat house fer ye southerners) and not one toke. Not even a roach was stirring. Four whole days.

So, my buddy said it was time to resort to drastic measures. I fired up the Yellow Bat (Bug) at 5PM and off we went into the darkness. When we hit hwy 7 the ice patches, some two inches thick, were so bad, 40mph. An hour later, buddy says, slow down... yeah, I think this it it, turn here.

The hill as steep, but I had 6.5s with studs in the rear so that VW would stick to ice like shit on a blanket.

Slow down... turn up there.... okay, slow down... pull over. We were in a gully running perpendicular to the road. Just trees and snow on a back woods road.

I figured he was lost and needed to ponder... or piss. He got out and started to climb over the high snow bank. Oh, he had to take a crap? He turned and waved "come on".

He produced a flashlight, and at that moment, I had a flash... what the hell is going on?

He shone the light on it and said, "Good, no ice or frost." "It" was a trail of timbers attached to hardwood stumps about four feet high and it ran along the side of the gully, through pines.

As we rounded a turn in the gully, I saw the log cabin. It was huge. At least 40 feet by 30 feet and 1 1/2 storeys. He stopped and said to hush and to wait while he appraoched. Someone was playing a guitar and singing and I could hear children playing.

My buddy stopped about 30 feet from the cabin and pushed a peeled spruce tree that was slung on two ropes up against an old oil drum tied to a tree. Silence. He hollered the old words, "Hello the camp."

I knew the accent immediately... "Whaht business"? Buddy answered, "My name is X X and I have come to ask you about X."

"Show you to me."

Mu buddy walked into the light shining from one of the windows and I heard, "Look, it's X come to visit. Now, you just stay riiight theyah until I set the dahhgs."

Upon entering the cabin, I was amazed. It was "open"... not a complete upper floor, but there were some floors here and there with "rooms" without walls. And kids hanging from the rafters, playing. About 8 kids.

We were immediately offered food, home made wine, tea, coffee, and many questions. Lovely conversation. And, yes, weed.... from a certain MacDonald's Tobacco tin which was from a very good year. There were a lot of tins lining one wall.

X was a draft dodger who settled in the hills of southwestern New Brunswick. He squatted on Crown Land in back of beyond. Many of these lads were actually deeded land by some Canucks who opposed the Vietnam Conflict.

Oh... as far as a lot of tins... he had one of those old cigarette rolling machines that made 5 at a time. The tins all contained rolled joints.

Finally, after conversation filling him in on the latest news of the world and a few tunes, the purpose of the visit was told. He led us along another set of timbers mounted on tree stumps to a huge barn built over the head of a rill fed by a spring. He used the tree slung door knocker against the door jamb timber and I wondered why with a quizzical to look to my buddy. My buddy whispered, "Larry.", and smiled and stifled a laugh.

We entered and climbed a rope to the attic.... ahhhhhhh... holy shhhit! Hangin upside downie was a whack a weed. He grabbed a large plastic bag and "milked" some plants. He asked if that was enough. I thought, yeah, I don't even know if I have enough money for all that. It was a large bag of boo. My buddy could see my concern and asked the price. X said, "$20 if you can manage it." I sprained my wrist gettin the coin outta my ass pocket.

Then, I heard it. Sounded like a Pontiac that wouldn't start on accounta wet solenoids or sommat. Anyone ever heard one a them knows what I mean. Since I was buzzin, I asked WTF is that? Oh, that's Larry. He's pissed that we are wakin him and the girls up. I'll go back down first and take care of him.

Now, anyone who knows sheep knows what I am talkin about except for one thing. Hairy Larry (named by one of the young children) was the biggest ram I ever saw. And he was pissed! X descended the rope and Larry was rising on his hind legs and going for it. X kicked him in the head and when Larry fell on his side, X let go of the rope and jumped on Larry and grabbed him by the ears. That was when he yelled, "GO!" We got out and so did X. X said, I hate that, but, fact is, that ram could kill a bear.... best ram I ever had.

Anyway.... the trip back home was at 60mph. When we came through the front door, everyone was there... my buddy had been elected president of X earlier in the eve (nobody thought he would be... it was a lark... a scam... a parody of the student government) and residence tradition was to be thrown into the swimming pool (indoor pool, or weren't you reading the whole post?).

So, off he goes. One, twooo, threee... Spaaaalasshhh. And then me... but... one... twooo.... and I hollered out, "I GOT WEED!" I did not get wet. Well, a bit later... yeah, but I made them carry me down three flights of stairs.

What a party!

Ahhhh.... memories... from back when we would live forever. The innocence and naivety of youth.