Mudcat Café message #1412656 The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #62901   Message #1412656
Posted By: Amos
16-Feb-05 - 11:28 PM
Thread Name: BS: Popular Views of the Bush Administration
Subject: RE: BS: Popular Views of the Bush Administration
Arrived today by e-mail, the following notice to G.W. Bush from the State of California:

California's Secession letter to Bush

Dear Mr. President,

Congratulations on your victory over all us non-evangelicals. Actually,
we're a bit ticked off here in California, so we're leaving. California will
now be its own country. And we're taking all the blue states with us. In case
you are not aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota,
Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, and all of the Northeast.

We spoke to God, and she agrees that this split will be beneficial to
almost everybody, and especially to us in the new country of California. In
fact, God is so excited about it, she's going to shift the whole country at
4:30 pm
EST this Friday. Therefore, please let everyone know they need to be
back in their states by then.

So you get Texas and all the former slave states. We get the
Governator, stem cell research and the best beaches,. We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken

(We will keep Martha Stewart, but having served her sentence she will
now be a contributor to society rather than the unindicted contributors to your
campaign) We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand, we get Intel
and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole Miss. We get
85% of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get all the technological
innovation in Alabama. We get about two-thirds of the tax revenue, and you get to
make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian Coalition's, we
get a bunch of happy families, You get a bunch of single moms to support, and
we know how much you like that. Did I mention we produce about 70% of the
nation's veggies? But heck the only greens the Bible-thumpers eat are the
pickles on their Big Macs.

Oh yeah, another thing, don't plan on serving California wine at your
state dinners. From now on it's imported French wine for you. Ouch, bet that

Just so we're clear, the country of California will be pro-choice and
anti-war, Speaking of war, we're going to want all blue state citizens
back from Iraq. If you need people to fight, just ask your evangelicals. They
have tons of kids they're willing to send to their deaths for absolutely no purpose,
And they don't care if you don't show pictures of their kids' caskets
coming home.

Anyway, we wish you all the best in the next four years and we hope,
hope, you find those missing weapons of mass destruction. Seriously,