Mudcat Café message #1407539 The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #76954   Message #1407539
Posted By: Uncle_DaveO
12-Feb-05 - 05:15 PM
Thread Name: BS: First Joke Thread for 2005
Subject: RE: BS: First Joke Thread for 2005
"Why Men Can't Win"

If you put a woman on a pedestal and
try to protect her from the rat race,
you are a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework,
you are a pansy.

If you work too hard,
there is never any time for her..
If you don't work enough,
you are a good for nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay,
this is exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay,
you should get off your rear
and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her,
that is favoritism.
If she gets job ahead of you,
it's equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks,
it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.

If you cry, you are a wimp.
If you don't, you are an insensitive bastard.

If you make a decision without consulting her,
you are a chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you,
she's liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something
she doesn't enjoy, that's domination.
If she asks you, it's a favor.

If you appreciate the female form
and frilly underwear, you are a pervert.
If you don't, you are gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs
and keep in shape, you are a sexist.
If you don't, you are unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shape, you are vain.
If you don't, you are a slob.

If you buy her flowers, you are after something.
If you don't, you are not thoughtful.

If you are proud of your achievements,
you are up yourself.
If you don't, you are not ambitious.

If she has a headache, she is tired.
If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.

If you want it too often, you are oversexed.
If you don't, there must be someone else.