Mudcat Café message #1394641 The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #76954   Message #1394641
Posted By: Mooh
31-Jan-05 - 03:30 PM
Thread Name: BS: First Joke Thread for 2005
Subject: RE: BS: First Joke Thread for 2005
Hello, this isn't Mooh but his daughter Sal, have fun with this:
The Evil Overlord List
Highlights:
1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.

7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."

12. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.

24. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)

25. No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.

50. My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks.

74. When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk.

87. My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.

98.If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.

Cheers! ~Sally Limones