Mudcat Café message #1149162 The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #68318   Message #1149162
Posted By: Ed.
29-Mar-04 - 01:17 PM
Thread Name: German folk song, help with translation
Subject: RE: German folk song, help with translation
Excellent effort, Wilfried.

Not speaking German, and hence not being able to understand the original, I can't offer much assistance. Here are a few minor points, though:

"Down yonder in the meadow" would perhaps sound more natural, although your translation is in no way bad English.

"I thought it was my true love"

"Stand with me!" sounds a little strange.

I don't really understand the second verse. Could you perhaps explain what it is supposed to mean a bit more? I understand the main idea, but that's about all.

"Good counsel do me say" is awkward. "Good counsel do me give" would be better, but would obviously ruin your rhyme.

Than all your chatt'l and good, could perhaps be improved as: "Than all your worldly goods"

Hope that helps a bit. Overall, I'm very impressed!

Ed

btw, I'm a citizen, not a subject! :-)