Mudcat Café message #1133157 The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #67653   Message #1133157
Posted By: Little Hawk
10-Mar-04 - 01:02 PM
Thread Name: BS: Dating Behaviour - am I out of touch ?
Subject: RE: BS: Dating Behaviour - am I out of touch ?
You're absolutely right, Kendall. Many people bop along from one dysfunctional relationship to the next, repeating their mistakes endlessly and blaming everyone else. These people would benefit from some good therapy, but the ones who are worst afflicted often would not even consider getting it! They wouldn't admit to such weakness, and besides, "it's the OTHER person's fault!"

The Sopranos is a very interesting show, because there you have Tony Soprano (the kind of guy who normally would not THINK of seeing a therapist)...and he goes to a therapist...and she's a good one. Very good scripts in that series.

Harpgirl - Well, thanks. :-) It's not so much that I'm a good catch, though. It's more that I'm a good friend and a great person to have a conversation with about almost anything or play music with. I've had plenty of longterm female (and male) friends who can vouch for that. I'm not really a good "catch" cos I seem to get a bit antsy after a while when I'm in a one-on-one relationship of the usual sort. Exactly why that is, I am still investigating. Maybe my childhood romantic expectations were a bit unrealistic? Did I say maybe? Ha!

My current therapist is a very smart lady, and she says this: Relationships are not primarily for what most people think they're for (to meet our needs and make us happy)...they are opportunities for rubbing off the rough edges in our own character by getting involved with people who irritate and stimulate those rough edges. This is uncomfortable and challenging. Once you have smoothed off most of your rough edges, you are much more likely to find greater harmony in relationships, and stop subconsciously seeking out people to do battle with.

Sex drive, of course, tends to confuse the issue, to say the least.

- LH