Mudcat Café message #1132811 The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #67653   Message #1132811
Posted By: Ellenpoly
10-Mar-04 - 04:11 AM
Thread Name: BS: Dating Behaviour - am I out of touch ?
Subject: RE: BS: Dating Behaviour - am I out of touch ?
What an interesting thread. First of all, I guess I have to say that my comments about C Batteries, chocolate, etc, though true to a certain extent, was not meant to be taken as the best way to end up at the age of 42, 52, or 62...It's just a way that sometimes suits.

Little Hawk, we were cut from the same cloth. I felt it from the first. Funny that, but I keep nodding my head whenever I read your postings.

Anyway, I just wanted to add that sex between a man and a woman has never been more complicated. What began as an impulse towards procreation has become the stuff of literature, art, music,...I can hardly think of a subject that isn't in some way now connected to that once only physical act.

Yes, relationships are often difficult to navigate, and sometimes we crash and burn with such force that the magnitude of the event can stop us from ever wanting to go that route again. This can be devastating for many. Some go on and take up the reins again, because we feel the need so strongly,and down the road find what in a sense we might all wish to find-a compassionate, loving, supportive connection. But for those of us who have taken the relationship path, whether for permanent, temporary, good or ill, (or both), and find we are still alone- we have two choices; keep going down that path because it is always there until we keel over...or take another path alone. They can both be satisfying if we are ready for what they offer us.

Men and women are different. Duh. We have our bodies and our language to attempt communication and understanding. Sometimes no matter what we do, how pure our intentions, we'll still have a break-down in making sense of how the other one ticks. What I found within the course of my decade-long marriage, which is now a long way back in the past, but the lessons not forgotten, is that there is little chance of a connection being maintained if there is a power struggle going on between the couple. I was immensely fortunate that within one of the craziest marriages imaginable, the one thing we didn't do to each other is have power plays. We respected our differences, our strengths, and weaknesses, and did our best to compliment each other. And we worked together 24 hours a day, so I'd say that part of it was enormously successful. The sex, well, I won't go into detail here, because in the words of harpgirl's son, you do not need to know that...but it waxed and waned, and I think that was also part of what happens in a long term connection.

So what's the point, as I digress all over the place? Ah-we are two genders within the same species...but because of our brains, there are far more differences between us than with other species. We need to remember that and not have expectations that the connection will be necessarily immediate, easy, or lasting. If ANY of those do happen, count yourself lucky ducks and do your best not to blow it. But the human department store has many floors, and there is no "one size fits all"...xx..e