Mudcat Café message #1131853 The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #67653   Message #1131853
Posted By: GUEST,Bothered and Bewildered
08-Mar-04 - 08:18 PM
Thread Name: BS: Dating Behaviour - am I out of touch ?
Subject: RE: BS: Dating Behaviour - am I out of touch ?
Thank you all so much for these comments. It is helping me a lot, and I'm glad to see that there are at least a few people living on the same planet as me, but comments from the other planet are very helpful in getting my thoughts clearer.

Some people have talked about 'life being too short': Maybe it depends on personality. Some people will gobble their favourite item of food on the plate first. Others know the pleasure of eating the rest slowly and watching and leaving the best until the end and then truly s a v o u r i n g it. How does a child eat ? How does a connoisseur eat ? I am sure you are right, Harvey. Desire is instantaneous. You can want someone, but you don't have to act on that straight away.

'Guest,can't speak for all women but..": Your comments have helped me a lot. To me, the phrases "if it feels good, do it" and "sex can be recreational" and your referring to "the act" is what is "clinical", more so than my saying it is wise for people to wait for months before sleeping with each other.

You say: "The act itself is the perfect way to indulge our senses, relieve tensions and lead to a restful sleep." I know exactly what you mean. You are talking about the purely physical orgasmic level of experience. I enjoy and indulge those senses (without a partner)with great satisfaction most nights.

I may be out of touch and old-fashioned, but I think sex with a partner is meant to go so far beyond the mere physical "relief of tension". We humans are body, mind and spirit. You say: "But sex can be recreational. Unless you view every prospective partner as a husband." Yes I do. Not in the sense of a 'legal piece of paper husband' but in the sense of someone with whom I share everything. For whom nothing about me is hidden. Where this Trust, Honesty and Love. That is a true husband and wife, "Married with God's blessing" without necessarily a church or a priest. You can have a good idea about the nature of a person within seconds of meeting them, but it takes time for trust, honesty and love to grow to fruition. Then, and only then, you are not "indulging in physical sex", you are Making Love.

(Less) Bothered and Bewildered, thanks to ALL your comments. I am coming to the conclusion that I am certainly out of step with a lot of people's thinking, but I cannot change the way I am. "To thine own self be true". I am certainly not judging or criticizing anybody else's views here. This is all just helping me (and maybe hopefully others) to think around this subject.