Mudcat Café message #1131811 The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #67653   Message #1131811
Posted By: Mr Red
08-Mar-04 - 07:04 PM
Thread Name: BS: Dating Behaviour - am I out of touch ?
Subject: RE: BS: Dating Behaviour - am I out of touch ?
Subject for a song Harvey? eh? Middle-age dating, newbies all over again - spirit unwilling and the flesh ............

On a serious note - I would say the first thing is there is a trend to web contacts &/or newspaper ads and my feeling there was and you will find similar views on this site is:-

The problem with text is that it doesn't convey the other 70 (or 80) % of human communication. The smiles, the blushing (Frueds say it is a sign of sexual submissiveness) the hand wringing, the mirroring. The problem then is we tend to place all judgement on the text. And in my limited experience there is a lot of fickleness and lack of honesty that you nail good and proper with an "eyeball".

Take one instant - I went to meet midday Sunday very public and she turned-up (not ever gaurranteed). Pleasant day no real spark but I am patient. We visit museum and art gallery - no real spark and she walks me to my car (her insistence). Then we have the game of spotting my car - a modest 10 yearold. By which time I had her sussed. The car was the analogue for the wallet (unless it was a phallic surrogate) and that was her criterion. I depart annoyed but thankful of the inevitable which came slowly. AND she was not the only one to use that criterion, in various shades of "subtle". I had a good job and fully paid for house.

Compare that with meeting Joy. At a Cajun dance. I am a keen dancer - so is she. That was three glorious years ago. Common interest and first contact is visual. Let's just say it is easier that way.