Mudcat Café message #1067076 The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #64934   Message #1067076
Posted By: GUEST,Mato Nupai
07-Dec-03 - 12:03 AM
Thread Name: Obit: My Wife
Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
> All I know is, I needed stories about Byron from the very first day
> after his death. I still need them.

Aloha nui loa Allison; my sister.

Of course you needed to hear stories about Byron. You wanted to know how he affected the lives of other people.

If Daylia or Little Hawk wants to share stories of Heide; that would be great; but David should not allow well meaning individuals to push him in directions he is not prepared to go now.

> And I also know from experience, that the "stages" of grief spiral
> around and twist and turn in a very non-linear path for me. I am
> not through with one, then move on to the next. I often still feel
> a combination of numbness, grief, anger, sorrow, even acceptance.
> Let's not forget denial!

Grief can do many things to a person.

You are correct that denial is a state in the grieving process.

> And I won't be told how to grieve by anyone, no matter how
> qualified.

Nor should you. AS I discussed with Stilly River Sage. There is not one right way to grieve. There are bad ways, and there are better ways to grieve, but each person will grieve in the way that is right for them.

I only hope people will give David some space until he is ready to share stories.