Mudcat Café message #1058790 The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #64592   Message #1058790
Posted By: Rapparee
21-Nov-03 - 06:21 PM
Thread Name: BS: The Marminator
Subject: RE: BS: The Marminator
I want a battle scene, where the military tries to kill the Vegemites and the Marmites. It doesn't have to be be anything big, because we can film from the top, bottom and sides and nobody will notice that it's the same scene. AND we'll get an award for creative camerawork, since I don't think ANYONE has ever filmed a battle from the bottom before!

So anyway, here's my thinking on this:

The Vegemites and the Marmites join forces, temporarily, because the US Marines are bothering them. Needing a few good men, the V&Ms eat about half the 1st Marine Division and continue stomping towards Hull9, where they are going to have their Armeggedonish battle. Outside of Youghcaghanny, Pennsylvania, on the banks of the Mighty Yuck (the river), they are confronted with the 1st through 9th US Infantry Divisions, the British Paras, the SAS, the SBS, the Green Berets, and the Fifth Northumbridgeshire Light Lancers (known as "the Cherry Pickers" but not because of their uniforms). Off in the distance the pipes of the Sutherlands and the Black Watch tell us that Lord Lurkin' is marching to reinforce the Thin Red Line at the front. Ghurka forces slip between the Vegemites' toes, where they hack at them with their famous knives. The Unites States' Special Military Underwater Reconnaisance Force (or SMURFs), clad in their special blue uniforms, attach the Marmites by shoving flares under their toenails and lighting them off. Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden, playing themselves and eager to squelch the rumors of their gay marriage as reported in "The News of the World" some weeks ago, lead jihad forces.

All to no avail. The slaughter is immense and quite complete. There is nothing between the Vegemites and the Marmites and Hull9 but several million people, part of Canada, some good-sized cities, and the Atlantic Ocean.

Maybe if we understood the Marmites and Vegemites, maybe if we treated them as people...nah.