Mudcat Café message #1045688 The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #63952   Message #1045688
Posted By: Menolly
01-Nov-03 - 03:53 AM
Thread Name: BS: Bereavement
Subject: RE: BS: Bereavement
My husband dies 21 months agoof cancer. We were married for 27 years.
Much wize advise has been given. All I would like to add is - make some new memeories.
We had been preparing to buy a campervan, I went ahead and bought a smaller one. We had hoped to take a friend on holiday to Malta, instead I took her in the camper to Cornwall. Coming out of a small village up a 1 in 4 hill I was forced to stop to let a car past. I did not know if the van could do a 1 in 4 hill start and I had a serious panic. Then I calmed myself down and I am here to tell the tale. I felt afterwards that if I could get through that I could get through anything.
In the early days I could not always talk to friends, they had their own memories and feelings. One night I talked on the phone to the Samaritans for 3 hours. That helped.
I did a few things we would never have done together. I joined a gym and when I could not stand to be in the house in the evening on my own, I went there. I got slimmer and fitter.
I got more involved in folk music and did more festivals. Folkies were better friends to me than the people who lived near by. Some who I had known for years, I came to know much better and this helped the feeling of moving forward.
The past 21 months have been the most eventful of my life, my friend and husband is no use for doing all the practical things he used to and has gone quiet about giving advise on them, but the warmth of his companionship is always near by.
I wish you the very best getting though it.