Mudcat Café message #1044669 The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #63952   Message #1044669
Posted By: Mrs.Duck
30-Oct-03 - 12:57 PM
Thread Name: BS: Bereavement
Subject: RE: BS: Bereavement
My father died when I was 14, my first husband died just nine weeks after the birth of our third child (Little Duckling)and I lost my mother 2 years later. Mouldy is right when she said that on each occasion something of the grief for the loss of the others also resurfaced. There are no right or wrong ways to deal with bereavement. When Steve died I had a young baby to care for and soon after a sick parent so I really didn't have time to grieve properly. I met Geoff only weeks before my mothers death and having him around made it so much easier to just let go and let all the accumulated grief pour out. I'm not sure if it ever goes away just sits in the background waiting for some little thing to spark it off again - a movie, a song a chance remark. But there is also a warmth in the memories and you will find that you will be able to smile through the tears. Events and anniversaries are hard to deal with. On my birthday after Steve died I went out and bought myself a present - a gold locket in which I put a photo of him and told myself it was his gift to me. After a friends husband died last year I told her what I'd done when her birthday arrived and she did the same and agreed that it gave her some comfort.
You obviously have a lot of friends that love you so take comfort from then and it WILL get easier.