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User Name Thread Name Subject Posted
GUEST,Sonja What are the lyrics to YOUR worst song (54* d) RE: What are the lyrics to YOUR worst song 29 Dec 02


Well, I finally found this song I wrote in1982, in frustration at certain men I knew.   You always knew when they were afoot, 'cause the toilet seat was always left up.  And territorial markings come in many varieties.

Even thought it's kind of fun to sing, I think it qualifies for this thread.   (It's a kind of skiffle beat country song.)

SWO

Territorial Imperative
   words and music by Sonja W. Oates © 1982

Like a mother sewin' initials
In her children's underwear
Or a hound dog waterin' the neighbors' lawn
Or a robin croonin' to the air,
You seem to need to leave your mark
On everything that you touch,
As though without proof of your territory,
The world would think that you're not much.

    Well, honey, you're welcome in my world,
    But don't try to mark it as your own.
    My needs are few,
    But one thing I ask of you:
    Put the seat back down.

        Put the seat down, honey.
        I pick up after you,
        You can pick up after me.
        Forget that territorial imperative
        And put the (bleep) seat down when you leave!

Well, I saw your ex-lady yesterday
Carryin' Honey, Junior in her arms,
And she's still carryin' your last name,
To show the world that you once knew her charms.
And on the door of your office, there's a great big sign
Sayin' "Honey, Incorporated,"
With a big status mobile in your labeled space
To show the world that you have really rated.

    Well, honey, you're welcome in my world,
    But don't try to mark it as your own.
    My needs are few,
    But one thing I ask of you:
    Put the seat back down.

        Put the seat down, honey.
        There's really nothin' to it:
        Even a four-year-old can do it.
        Forget that territorial imperative
        And put the ["cuckoo"] seat down when you leave!

Like a rancher carvin' initials in the gate
Or burnin' 'em into his cattle,
You seem to wanna brand the women you love
As though sayin', "World, here's more o' my chattel."
Well, there's "mine," there's "ours," and then there's "yours,"
And I ain't included in the latter,
So don't do private things to me when we're in public places.
The size of your territory does not matter.

    So, honey, you're welcome in my world,
    This is our garden: you be Adam, I'll be Eve.
    But livin' in Paradise
    Would be so much nicer if you'd
    Put the blankety-blank seat down when you leave!

        Put the seat down, honey.
        There's always one last straw,
        An' there oughta be a law!
        Forget that territorial imperative
        And put the ["cuckoo"] seat down when you leave!


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