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User Name Thread Name Subject Posted
GUEST,Bradfordian Left wing political parodies (48) RE: Left wing political parodies 16 Sep 19


For those who follow British politics
From ROBIN WALLINGTON (on Facebook)

To the tune of ďA Modern Major GeneralĒ

EDIT: two more verses to bring it up to length
EDIT #2: holy cow this has blown up - thanks for all the likes and shares everyone!
EDIT #3: a few people have messaged to ask if they can use this in recitals, etc. The answer will always be YES. This is free to use, record and share ?? (just let me know and send pics/videos - itís lovely to see people enjoying it!)

??????

I am the very model of a prejudiced Etonian
My diction is impeccable, my politics draconian,
Iím quite the polar opposite of what youíd call revisionist
And though I went to public school, at least Iím not a Wykehamist
Iím keeping the tradition of the gentry entíring politics
How else are we to keep away the Corbynista Bolsheviks
So through my vivid promises of dividends most decorous
Iíve mobilised the Brexiteers to levels quite obstreperous
I whip them up to frenzy in a manner so Pavlovian
They do not seem to see that itís increasingly dystopian
So here I stand before you like a skeletal Napoleon
I am the very model of a prejudiced Etonian.

Iíve studied all the Classics from Herodotus to Sophocles
How else am I to criticise my colleaguesí etymologies?
Perhaps thatís why I vote against most freedoms and equalities
These authors are about as old as most of my philosophies!
I know of all the backwards Parliamentíry curiosities
Like letting Commonsí privílege keep me safe to spout atrocities
I know the terminologies, chronologies and glossaries
And yet I still behave as if we never lost the colonies.
I often drain the public funds to renovate my properties
Although I have more money than some smaller world economies
I never make apologies for lack of reciprocities
Despite the fact that swathes of Britons lack basic commodities!

My views on social issues havenít changed much since the Tudor times
I rage against the slightest change to long-outdated paradigms
I lack the base ability to sympathise or empathise
My Commonsí sprawl exemplifies the privilege I symbolise
When criticised on Womenís Rights I hide behind Catholicism
Bending it to justify my heart-of-stone Conservatism,
Yet I sound the clarion of fear of fundamentalism
Without seeming to acknowledge this inherent dualism,
I try to paint a picture of a Brexit most utopian
And when they all explain to me the likely pandemonium
I patronise my critics with my methods Ciceronian
I am the very model of a prejudiced Etonian.


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