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User Name Thread Name Subject Posted
autolycus Obit: RIP Gary Speed Football Welsh Mgr UK Nov2011 (23) RE: Obit: RIP Gary Speed Football Welsh Mgr UK Nov2011 28 Nov 11


I have both sympathy and lack of sympathy for suicides. It must be so terrible to be in such a state. My money is on overwhelming anger being likely to be at the bottom of it. On the other hand, as others have said, it's a very cruel thing to inflict on your nuclear family if nobody else.

As a retired Gestalt therapist, I know how difficult it is for people to know themselves, be themselves, share all of themselves with their immediate family.

It is worse in many parts of society where looking at oneself and exploring same with someone who knows what they're doing,is still thought of as self-indulgent, narcissistic, pointless, dangerous and so on. Instead the idea is to keep troubles to oneself, stand on your own to feet, pull yourself up by your own bootstraps and get on with it while fitting in.

Football is one of the more reactionary parts of society where all that is likely to be truest. So no wonder when a good bloke like Speed does this, nobody can understand it. Everything is [emphasis] supposed to be hidden.

Is it not still a devastatingly sad matter that a spouse on their way into a terrible and dark place cannot/will not confide in their partner?




The Irish Times article was interesting. It pointed to another tendency which can have such aweful consequences. It was said of the woman that she was 'a perfectionist'. To aim for that is automatically riding for a fall.

Perfectionism is a bain of our lives; not good.


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