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User Name Thread Name Subject Posted
GUEST,anon the uk folkscene and sex changes (173* d) RE: the uk folkscene and sex changes 06 May 10


If I may be so bold as to take some of the points that Murray makes (as I believe he is not being malicious in his writings but maybe is a little misguided about the psychiatric process). I am not singling him out in any way but he does raise issues that need addressing.

For general information therefore and certianly not in any attack on him:

I am not pretty. I consider myself ugly. But then I was not a 'hansome man' either. As a 'man' I was dysfunctional, deeply unhappy, typically gender dysphoric and often wanted to be dead. Once I started living as the female I consider I was/am, life became very difficult initially, but then I became so much more functional as a person, work and pay my taxes, engage mankind and womankind - society generally - and have a life I never knew I could manage.

The psychiatrists are there not to judge my attractiveness. Damn. If that was a criteria they would have put me down a long time ago. The two psyichiatric appraisals are to show your sanity (that there is not underlying pschotic illness that is leading you this way or that you are not a transvestite or suffering one of the paraphilias that could lead you to want to be female). Once your sanity is 'proven' only then will a surgeon even see you let alone do the surgery. Many people have plastic surgery and have no psychiatric appraisal or counselling. The psychiatric and counselling saide can be quite arbitrary and cruel. No woman or man has to go through such trials to have to prove who they are.

I'll be always be ugly. So what? Is that a crime? I still have to live and survive - the same as all other people - and at least being ugly gives me no pretentions that my life will ever be fully safe or easy. But then many women's lives are not safe and easy either. There is no easy route to being a woman. I had to 'earn' my rights. I do not think that gives me any monopoly on the genetic women who suffer in their lives. Our history (herstory) may differ, but our struggles are similar. Some men do not have it easy either, I know.

So, to try and tidy the 'ugly' argument up, it's not a criteria for being a man or a woman (thank heavens). I am happy for anyone who is better looking (about 99% of the population), can sing better, play better, and be better than I am.

I am just a woman with a slightly different past trying to make her way through a life I would have never managed as a man. I do not like being ugly but it is a fact of my life. It that offends anyone I can only apologise. You think I like seeing the lovely women around me in the world and give it no thought? I envy them as I do those with good voices. But I do noty begrudge them. It's not their fault they are pretty. It's not mine that I am ugly. I will not walk round with a brown paper bag on my head though!

Firm psychiatrists used to lock up girls who had the misfortune to get pregnant from an encounter with a man not too man years ago. Firm psychiatrists were plugging gay men into the mains less that 4 decades ago (aversion therapy) to 'cure' them. It's not a firm pschiatrist I need. I simply want to be able to live and breath in the world as you inhabit.

Once again I am NOT singling you out. You have probably just said what many may think. I hope the above addresses some of that faulty reasoning. I am keeping an eye to the thread and trying to respond to those posts that are not mocking. However, I stress, I can only speak for me and not for other women who have travelled this route.

For what it is worth I do know that most people do not deliberately say horrid or malicious things. They are simply ignorant, in the true sense of the word, and are maybe looking for explanations.

Forgive the length of this

anon


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