But why do teaspoons go missing? We lost 24 in four months.

They can't have been taken by passing spoon players as they are too small.

TEASPOONS
Robin Madge © 1992

I just want to track down the teaspoons.
It doesn't seem much, that I know,
But just when I think I'm progressing
They vanish like microwaved snow.

We used to have loads in the cupboard,
Easily found on demand,
But then they started to vanish
In a way that made it seemed planned.

It first came to notice one Sunday
When we wanted some fruit-spoons for tea.
We knew there were six in the cupboard,
But that day we only found three.

It was then that the teaspoons that match them
Were counted and found to be four.
As I say there should have been six there,
But two of them we've seen no more.

The coffee-spoons vanished completely
By the end of the following week,
Along with at least three more teaspoons,
And for grapefruit we're right up the creek.

We bought in some plastic replacements,
Although one went the very first day,
And they leave a slight taste when you use them,
And they've started to dwindle away.

"Twenty-four teaspoons gone missing."
It doesn't sound quite headline news.
Yuri Geller just bends them and breaks them.
"Make them vanish?" I think he'd refuse.

Perhaps there's a place they escape to
Draw by some high ineffable force.
An elephants' grave-yard for teaspoons,
Reached by time warp or space-warp, of course.

If you find them would you please tell me,
If it's only they've jumped in the bins.
In return perhaps I should tell you:-
I keep finding dressmaking pins.