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User Name Thread Name Subject Posted
ceitagh BS: Cyberspace Friendships (127* d) RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships 20 Mar 00


I read this entire thread (even tho i really should be going to bed about now) because I find the topic so fascinating, and you guys have some great things to say. Personally, i've been on the 'net 4 or 5 years, and in that time the only people i've consistantly corresponded with are the ones whom I know in real life. I don't know what this says about the quality of my cyber-friendships, tho i do know it corresponds with my personality- I'm not very good with high-maintenance friendships because my time-demands keep shifting.

I think cyberfriendships are easy to start....to a certain extent, it is easier to find people with common interests, and we are more open on the 'net. But when your common interest disappears, so does the tie that keeps you together, because unlike a 3-D relationship, you don't have the ties of location, common experience and just being together and doing things together to flesh out the friendship beyond commonality.

I'm incredibly open, as a rule, and the internet makes it even easier for me to be that way because i don't have to see who i'm talking to. I have one cyber-buddy who has talked me thru every crisis the past 3 years, with kindness and sensitivity. I see him rarely, and it is odd when i do see him, because while i can see how he is the same (kind, generous, etc.) he is also a stranger to me. Our lives are completely different, and we are awkward and unsure with each other off-line.

I guess what i'm trying to say is that i think cyberfriendships only cover part of the territory, but maybe a part that a lot of 3D friendships could benefit from. Despite all the stuff about "only seeing what you're shown", i find that what characterises cyberfriendships is honesty and intimacy...something day to day relationships can lack 'cause we're so dad-blamed busy trying to impress each other. .

darn...i've still got more to say. but this is enough, i think.

ceit




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