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User Name Thread Name Subject Posted
Kaleea BS: a kind of bereavement (27) RE: BS: a kind of bereavement 11 Dec 06


Please ask the Activities/Social Services Director or Director at the care home when & where the family support group meetings are. It would help you lots to know that you are NOT alone, and how others are coping. While we cannot control our loved ones, or the situation life has dealt them, we can attempt to learn how control our own actions & reactions to our loved ones & their situations. Learn everything you can from others who deal with this every day, whether they are staff members or family members of the residents of the care home. You must try your best to do what you can while you visit, then leave & let go of it for a few days--knowing you are doing what you can. Please attempt to NOT put yourself into a state of constant worry, as this will not help you, your family, or your mother. Try to accept her in the frame of mind she is in at the time, and know that she still loves you, but she just can't access that part of her brain right now.
Many people I know have found it good to ask about the family of earlier generations, & have learned a great deal about their family geneology which otherwise would be lost in the past. Ask her to tell you stories about family members. If she thinks you are some cousin, so be it. She will be comforted by knowing that you are some means of friend or family, and that you care enough to visit her. In time, it will be less difficult. You may even be able to laugh a little from time to time. Good luck!


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