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User Name Thread Name Subject Posted
bob schwarer Lost My Sense of Humor II (102* d) RE: Lost My Sense of Humor II 01 Mar 00


One day, a blonde and a brunnette were walking on the sidewalk when the brunette stopped and exclaimed "Look! a dead bird!" The blonde immediately looked up and said "Where? Where?"

A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman. "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. "Darn, he recognized me," she thought. She went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. Frustrated, she exclaimed "How do you know I'm a blonde?" "Because", he replied, "that's a microwave.

Two dumb blondes were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks. The first dumb blond said "These look like deer tracks," and the other one said, "No, they look like moose tracks." They argued and argued for a while and they were still arguing when the train hit them.

Two dumb blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn't. The girl with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."

A blonde's car breaks down on the Interstate one day, so she eases it over onto the shoulder. She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk. Out jump two more blondes in trench coats, who walk to the rear of the vehicle where they stand facing oncoming traffic and begin opening their coats and exposing themselves to approaching drivers. Not surprisingly, one of the worst pile-ups in history of this highway occurs. It's not very long before a police car shows up. The cop, clearly enraged, runs toward the driver of the disabled vehicle yelling, "What the devil is going on here?" "My car broke down," says the lady calmly. "Well, what are those blondes doing here by the road?" screams the cop. "Those are my emergency flashers!" replied the first blonde!

A blonde teenage girl comes home from school and asks her mother, "Is it true what Rita just told me"..... "Babies come out of the same place where boys put their thingies?" "Yes, dear." replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up, and she wouldn?t have to explain it to her daughter. "But then when I have a baby," responded the blonde teenager "won't it knock my teeth out?

A brunette, redhead and blonde went to a fitness spa for some fun and relaxation. After a stimulating healthy lunch, all three decided to visit the ladies room and found a strange-looking woman sitting at the entrance who said, "Welcome to the ladies room. Be sure to check out our newest feature: a mirror which, if you look into it and say something truthful, you will be awarded with a wish. But, be warned, for if you say something false, you will be sucked into the mirror to live in a void of nothingness for all eternity!" The three women quickly entered and upon finding the mirror, the brunette said, "I think I'm the most beautiful of us three" and in an instant she was surrounded by a pile of money. The redhead stepped up and said "I think I'm the most talented of us three" and she suddenly found the keys to a brand new Lexus in her hands. Excited over the possibility of having a wish come true, the blonde looked into the mirror and said, "I think..." and was promptly sucked into the mirror.


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