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User Name Thread Name Subject Posted
judy good for a laugh (3) good for a laugh 30 Dec 97


Here are some excerps from Fractured English, published by Pocket Books in October, 1996.

When it comes to writing about classical music, students across our nation show themselves to be fit as fiddles. They pull out all the stops and never soft-pedal the facts about our musical heritage. Without blowing their own horns, chiming in, or harping on the subject, they strike a responsive chord.

Stop the Music! - September 16, 1996

* Caruso was the first Italian. Then someone heard his voice and said he would go a long way. And so he came to America. * Stradivarius sold his violins on the open market with no strings attached. * The principle singer of 19th-century opera was called pre-Madonna. * At one time, singers had to use musicians to accompany them. Since synthesizers came along, singers can now play with themselves.

Young scholars have expressed their rapture for the Bronze Lullaby, the Taco Bell Cannon, Beethoven's Erotica, Tchaikovsky's Cracknutter Suite, and Gershwin's Rap City in Blue. In defining musical terms, they also demonstrate that they know their brass from their oboe:

* Music sung by two people at the same time is called a duel. If they sing without music, it is called Acapulco. * Diatonic is a low-calorie Schwepps. * Probably the most marvelous fugue was the one between the Hatfields and the McCoys. * A harp is a nude piano. * An interval in music is the distance from one piano to the next. * The correct way to find the key to a piece of music is to use a pitchfork. * Agitato is a state of mind when one's finger slips in the middle of playing a piece.

And MY FAVORITE:

* Refrain means don't do it. A refrain in music is the part you'd better not try to sing.

Happy, happy judy


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