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User Name Thread Name Subject Posted
Chris/Darwin Help: The Parson's Idol (3) RE: Help: The Parson's Idol 14 Feb 00


As I said, it is pretty anti-church, but here goes:

I have candles and all sorts of dressings to buy
For I wish you to know that my church is called high
I don't mean in structure or steeple or wall
But so high the poor people can't reach it at all

There are those in my parish that need some relief
I preach to their poverty and pray for their grief
I send my box round to them morning and night
And I'll even take the poor widow's mite

I gather my knowledge from wisdom's great tree
The whole of my trinity is L, S and D
Pounds, shillings and pence are all that I crave
From your first day on earth to the brink of your grave

Money's my creed and I'll not live without it
My heaven is closed against all those that doubt it
For this is the essence of parson's religion
Come regular to church and be plucked like a pidgeon

My pay may be hundreds and thousands a year
Double it, treble it, still I am here
With my box and my bags collecting your brass
I can't do like Jesus did, ride on an ass

I have carriages and horses and servants and all
I'm not going to foot it like Peter and Paul
Neither like John live on locusts and honey
So out with your purses and down with your money

Fools sometimes ask what I do with this money
They might as well ask what the bees do with honey
I answer them all with a wink and a nod
I keep three thirds meself and give praises to God

In the cold silent earth I may soon be laid low
To sleep with the blessed that went long ago
I shall slumber in peace till the great resurrection
Then be first on me feet to make a collection

If no-one knows it we could have a competition for the best tune? How about it?


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