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User Name Thread Name Subject Posted
GUEST,Sandy Andina Lyr Add: Edmund Fitzgerald parody (6) Lyr Add: WRECK OF A FOLKIE'S CAREER (S. Andina) 08 Feb 06


Ever heard one too many open mikers mangle Gordon Lightfoot's "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald?" Or lose your chance to play at all because of mic hogs who played that, "Tam Lin," and "Sad-Eyed Lady of the Lowlands" as their three allotted songs? Well, this one's for you:

THE WRECK OF A FOLKIE'S CAREER
(profuse apologies to Gordon Lightfoot)
words © by S. Andina

1.        The legend lives on from the Earl of Old Town
Of the Long-Winded Bad Open Miker
The crowd, it is said, they all wanted her dead
(In other words, they didn't like her).
A spectacular bore, 26 minutes more
Than the other performers dared proffer
They'd hiss and they'd boo if they'd had a chance to
But instead, they just wished they could off her.

2.        The rule was two songs, any more would be wrong
For the list contained seventeen singers.
Eight of them, to be sure, were just rank amateurs,
Seven dogs, and a couple of ringers.
The first singer tried, "American Pie"
Then six choruses of "On Wisconsin."
The bartenders say he'd have gone on till day
Had the MC not stepped in to stop him.

3.        The rest saw the sign, and they all toed the line:
Two songs, each five minutes or shorter
Including the tuning and talking between
And the ritual sipping of water.
At eleven p.m., our culprit walked in
And proceeded to plug in ten pedals.
Despite a soundcheck, she still sounded like dreck
But the MC resolved not to meddle.

4.        Her set started late at 11:08
As she sang, "In A Gadda Da Vida."
The song didn't end until nine minutes in
(And by then, we all wanted to bleed her).
But she didn't care, for she didn't stop there,
Doing ditties by Joni and Sheryl.
Then her shill yelled, "Encore! For you must do one more.
"Play "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald!"

5.        Does anyone know where civility goes
When a bore turns the minutes to hours?
The telephone chimed, for it was closing time
So we gave her a Budweiser shower.
And dripping with beer, she slunk out of here,
Her career forever in peril.
If you want to be liked at your next open mike………..
Don't do "Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald!"


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