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User Name Thread Name Subject Posted
Owlkat The funniest song you have ever heard! (151* d) ADD: Wonderful World of Sex (Michael Smith) 20 Dec 99

Hi hi, Here's my offering, care of a Steve Goodman concert that he played at the Karma Coffee House in (I think) '70 or '72. It's written by Mark Smith, the author of "The Dutchman". Oh oh! Changed my mind. Here's TWO Mark Smith songs. I had a chance to ask him about more words for the second one some years back, and he said that he didn't remember it at all. Yeah. Sure.

I could learn to read Vietnamese by myself
And I could even teach it to my good dog Ralph
And I could learn to read you every book on the shelf
And I could read your future like the oracle of Delphi
I could identify any flower by it's colour
And I could swim as fast as Johnny Wiesmuller
But I never could learn to get along without you baby
Don't you run away from me cause I sure dig sex
You can get love from your momma and your poppa
You can get hot from tortillas and lasagna
You can get steam from a turkish or a sauna
But you get all three when you make it from me, baby
I must admit it gets me in the plexus
When I hear about the differences in the sexes
Pizza and beer are neat
But when you get right down to it, it just can't compete
With good old S double E double X
Is camper than Batman and bigger than Texas
You're concave and I'm convexes
Welcome to the world of SEX
Do I love you Is the Pope catholic
Do I need you Is a rubber band elastic
Do I want you Is the atom bomb drastic
Let's be heterosexually
Entwined we fit like a Hong Kong suit dear
I dig you more than I dig root beer
Big green peas need a big green pod
And I'm just a sittin' here needin' your bod
So why don't we go walkin' through fields of clover
Then lie down and kinda talk things over
You never know what's happenin' next
In the wonderful world of SEX

Hokay. That's one. I use it for my vocal warmup every night when I do my summer vaudeville show. I love how people react the first time they hear it. The second one is even better.

Everybody's high except for me.
I'd love to be in high society
Even nuns are flying on tv
Everybody's high except for me

My girlfriend Lucy says that I'm so square
And her scorn sometimes is just too much to bear
My best friend Melvin takes her everywhere
What a fascinating thing to delve in
Lucy in the sky with Melvin...

Oh yeah. And anything by Mark Graham of Seattle. There. I'm done. Can I have my jello now? Bye bye.
;-) Mart

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