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User Name Thread Name Subject Posted
Shimbo Darktree Lyr Add: Ice Damming (Barry Finn) (15) RE: Please, comments again on a song 18 Dec 99


I shouldn't comment really, because my song-writing skills are not
the best in the world. However, you asked, so here goes ...

Firstly, the rhyming. I tend to agree with Murray on SS ...
I don't see a problem with it.

Secondly, the meter (US spelling rules!). I do see a problem.
The words should flow evenly. As an example, try the following
for the first two lines:

New England winter and throughout the land,
The trucks start rolling, they're carting all hands,

No doubt improvements could be made, particularly to the second line,
but hopefully this will help. Keep writing ... someone has
to supply the songs I sing, as I rarely sing mine. I like other
people's songs more.
Regards,
Shimbo


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