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User Name Thread Name Subject Posted
Cara BS: boys won't date girls who smoke (80* d) RE: BS: boys won't date girls who smoke 02 Dec 99


No smokers weighing in on this thread I see? Well, allow me to be the first. It's irritating to me to see how many times "smokers" have been referred to in this thread as if we're one huge cow-like herd who can be easily lumped together. You don't like smoking? It seems as though it should be easy enough to avoid, given the few public spaces that are left open to smokers these days. You don't like to go into smoky pubs? I don't like sitting down at a bar next to someone who makes a face when I light a cigarette. I try to be conscientious and respectful of other people's sensitivity to smoke, but it is my right to smoke in areas that are not designated as non-smoking, and I'm taking it. I really, really try to be a nice smoker, but you would not believe how rude people can be. Holding your breath and saying, "excuse me, but some of us breathe oxygen!"? How rude. There are just so few occasions when rudeness is called for.

Smokers who litter are another matter; littering is not cool in any circumstance. Nor is smoking in a private home if you've been asked not to. But in a bar, or the smoking section of a restaurant, or at an outdoor cafe? Don't go if you don't like it.

Now, do I wish I hadn't started smoking? Absolutely. Have I tried to quit? Yes, but obviously not hard enough. Saying that "cigarettes are addictive" doesn't really do justice to how dependent we addicts are. That's not a good thing, but once you're there...

It does make social stuff harder. I hate sneaking out the door to smoke at non-smoking venues or work functions, and I am incomplete without gum and perfumed lotion to mask the smell. Dating non-smokers is a challenge too, since you want to be minty-fresh for those spontaneous smooches. And, even though my Janis Joplin voice is fun in the morning shower, I'm aware that it will ruin what voice I ever had.

But I really hate the way some non-smokers talk about smokers. I make smartass remarks about how smokers are just cooler people, but I never really mean it. Maybe it's true though, and being a persecuted outgroup will finally lead us to cohere and rise up...

Just kidding, of course. I have a love/hate relationship with my cigarettes, for all of the obvious reasons. It varies from day to day. But I hate coming across venues where non-smokers pat each other on the back and talk about how smokers smell bad, and are thoughtless, and unloveable. That's me you're talking about here folks, and who knows who else on the Forum? Or in your office? Do you think smokers don't know that it's an unhealthy habit that really annoys some people? We do, I promise. But please be polite and limit your personal remarks to smokers who are obviously being inappropriate (i.e., breaking a law, or in your home or car) and just let the rest of us be.




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